


...But I Didn't Say No Homo

by woojinshands (woojinsthighs)



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE, GOT7, NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Changbin Soojin nd Johnny are related, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, For the most part, I'm Trying My Best - Freeform, Lets Hope I Can Actually Make this Fluffy!, M/M, Minnie and BamBam are cousins, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Soyeon and Jungkook are siblings, Yugyeom and Woojin are cousins, chat fic, seokjin and taehyung are cousins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-09-02 20:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woojinsthighs/pseuds/woojinshands
Summary: a chat fic.yes, again.





	1. The Start of Something New

**Author's Note:**

> it has Begun

**Yang Jeongin _has created a new chat_**

**Yang Jeongin _has added_ Bang Chan, Kim Woojin, _and six others to the chat_**

**Yang Jeongin _has named this chat_**

**'its not gay if you say no homo'**

**Yang Jeongin:** welcoem


	2. Bromance, Nothing Really Gay About it

**_its not gay if you say no homo_ **

**Yang Jeongin _has given_ Yang Jeongin _admin rights_**

**Yang Jeongin _has revoked_ Bang Chan, Kim Woojin, _and six others'_** **_admin rights_ **

**Hwang Hyunjin:** jeongin no

 **Kim Seungmin:** Do you remember what happened the last time we had a group chat?

 **Bang Chan:** I thought we promised we wouldn't talk about That

 **Lee Minho:** valid

 **Han Jisung:** jeonginnie i want to change my name

 **Yang Jeongin:** all of your names will be changed

but i'll be the one changing them

 **Lee Minho:** Jeomgin No

I beg of you, do Not

 **Yang Jeongin:** then Beg

 **Lee Felix:** KSHSKSJ

 **Kim Woojin:** Felix we all know you're gay, you don't need to prove it to us

 **Lee Felix:** i

i breathed???

 **Lee Minho:** Fool

you keyboard smashed

only the gayest of the gay would dare to commit such an atrocity

 **Han Jisung:** valid

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Bang Chan _'s name to '_ kinky'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Kim Woojin _'s name to '_ chaotic neutral'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Lee Minho _'s name to '_ chaotic evil'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Seo Changbin _'s name to '_ chaotic good'**

**kinky:** Jeongin stop

 **chaotic neutral:** you're tearing this family apart

 **Yang Jeongin:** that was the goal

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Hwang Hyunjin _'s name to '_ bean boy'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Han Jisung _'s name to '_ illiterate'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Lee Felix _'s name to '_ atrocity'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Kim Seungmin _'s name to '_ meh'**

**Yang Jeongin _has changed_ Yang Jeongin _'s name to '_ regret'**

**meh:** youre like 5 what do you have to regret

 **regret:** everything 

****


	3. Jeongin's Mind,,, it Amazes Me

_**its not gay if you say no homo** _

**kinky:** JEONHIN

WHY IS MY NAME KINKY

 **regret:** because your hair is

curly

but curly is a borin wrod

so i give you:

kinky

 **chaotic evil:** jeongin there are no words to describe jow much i love you

 **bean boy:** his mind,,, it amazes me

also

why is my name bean boy

 **regret:** you are tall, 'bean(stock)'

you are cute, bean

you are boy

so i hive you:

bean boy

 **meh:** why is hyunjin crying

 **bean boy:** jeoenhin yiure so cutw

ITS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEARY

PLESDEE

 **chaotic good:** i think you broke him

 **chaotic neutral:** its ebout time

 **atrocity:** ominous!


	4. Who's Your Daddy

_**its not gay if you say no homo** _

**kinky:** who drank the last of the milk

 **regret:** not me

but i know who it was

 **kinky:** (are you asking for a bribe?)

 **regret:** ((yes))

 **meh:** why are they talking in parentheses

they know we can see this right

 **kinky:** (((i'll buy you some ice cream when i go to the store)))

 **regret:** ((((make it cookies and cream and you've got yourself a deal))))

 **chaotic neutral:** just pretend they're not there

thats what i do

 **kinky:** woojin you wound me

(((((you've got it)))))

 **regret:** ((((((it was jisung))))))

 **illiterate:** JEONGIN YOU FIKTHY TRAITOR

I TRUSTED YOU

HOW COULD YOU DI THIS TO ME

YOUR FAVORITE HYUNG

 **regret:** last time i checked chan was my favorite hyung

nice try

 **atrocity:** i raised you better than this

what happened

 **chaotic evil:** you fool

i raised him

 **chaotic good:** that explains a lot

 **regret:** you're not my dad!

 **chaotic neutral:** ah

i love the fresh smell of teenage rebellion in the morning

 **chaotic evil:** Jeongin, how could you do this to me?

i raised you on my back

i gave you food

i gave you shelter

I BIRTHED YOU!

and THIS

is the thanks i get?

i am disappointed

 **bean boy:** i

go off i guess?


	5. I am GOD

**chaotic good:** people treat me like god

 **chaotic evil:** they talk to you at least twice a week?

 **atrocity:** they worship you?

 **meh:** they fear that one day your wrath will rain down upon them so mercilessly that no one survives?

 **chaotic good:** they ignore my existence unless they need something

but those work too i guess

 **illiterate:** deep

you ok there lil man?

 **chaotic good:** you are literally an inch taller than me you god forsaken h*tero

 **illiterate:** im a good person i don't deserve to be mistaken for a h*tero

 **kinky:** what was that, bin?

couldn't hear you from all the way up here

 **chaotic good:** is ir bully changbin day?

 **atrocity:** no hyung

 **regret:** thats everyday

 **chaotic good:** shut the fuck up. you think you're slick? think you're Real cool? think you have Power? you Fool,,, you absolute Buffoon. this is My home. you dare disrespect me in My area? you Dare? think you're Safe? laughing behind a screen? you fool. I'll Destroy You.

 **bean boy:** i

 **chaotic neutral:** i think thats enough internet for today


	6. All I Want for Christmas is

**chaotic neutral:** what do y'all want for christmas

 **atrocity:** a new blanket

 _someone_ stole my last one

 **chaotic good:** gee i wonder who

 **chaotic evil:** a boyfriend 

**regret _has changed_ chaotic evil _'s name to_ chaotic gay**

**kinky:** sleep

 **meh:** a will to live

 **illiterate:** too unrealistic

ask for easy shit like the rest of us

 **bean boy:** i want the new red velvet album

in all honesty i just want a really bad boy

 **regret:** (oh my god

he's a really bad boy)

 **meh:** (bang bang pow

he's a really bad boy)

 **chaotic gay:** enough of that you homosexuals

 **regret:** your name is literally chaotic gay

 **meh:** maybe if you stanned red velvet

 **chaotic gay:** irene is literally the only woman im straight for fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i do end up doing ships in the fic i will most likely be doing rare pairs (for the most lart anyways) so leave some suggestions if you have any!


	7. Don't be a Drag just be a Queen

**chaotic gay:** i just found an old paper from elementary school

it said 'what do you want be when you grow up?'

i said i wanted to be a drag queen

 **bean boy:** makes sense

 **meh:** you're a drag

just not a queen 

**chaotic gay:** seungmim you wound me

i felt that in my chest cavity

 **kinky:** y

you mean your heart?

 **chaotic gay:** my chest cavity

 **kinky:** fair enough

 **illiterate:** all in favor of minho hyung becoming a drag queen say i

 **regret:** i

 **kinky:** i

 **chaotic good:** i

 **chaotic neutral:** i

 **atrocity:** i

 **meh:** i

 **bean boy:** i

 **illiterate:** its settled

 **chaotic gay:** its settled


	8. Panini Head

**chaotic neutral:** who let minho watch hell's kitchen

 **kinky:** im a weak man

 **regret** **:** we know

 **chaotic neutral:** hes been insulting my cooking all day!

 **meh:** doesn't he always do that

 **chaotic neutral:** yes

but even more so than usual

 **bean boy:** why did minho hyung just call me a panini head

i didn't even know he knew what a panini was

 **chaotic gay:** my bloody grandmother could've done better than this and she's dead!

 **atrocity:** why is your grandmother bloody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep in mind that im trying to keep this as angstless as possible, so there will be little to no plot, as well as short even more plotless chapters


	9. Mrery Christams

**chaotic gay:** ITS CHRISTAMS

 **kinky:** there are 15 days till christmas

slow your roll, heathen

 **chaotic neutral:** the whole month of december is christmas, and the whole month of november is christmas eve

 **meh:** i hate that that actually makes sense

 **chaotic neutral:** perks of being the oldest

 **bean boy:** speaking of christams

what are you guys doing?

 **atrocity:** im staying at the dorms and getting high on hot chocolate powder 

**kinky:** ^

 **illiterate:** i think im gonna go to my aunt's

or stay at the dorms

 **chaotic good:** woojin hyung and i are going to my parents house

 **regret:** oh?

 **atrocity:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **chaotic good:** get that monstrosity away from me

 **atrocity:** fair

 **chaotic gay:** planning on finding a nice man at my next show

 **bean boy:** what show?

 **chaotic gay:** my next drag show

 **kinky:** your WHAT

 **chaotic gay:** did you not think i would actually do drag?

oh ye of little faith

tis the season to be draggy!

 **bean boy:** i am also planning on staying at the dorms but i am going nowhere NEAR those hot chocolate snorting HEATHENS

 **regret:** im going back to my parents

seungminnie might come if i don't kill him before the Time comes

 **meh:** fair


	10. Ay Yo Ma Lemme Get Yo Number

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im making soojin changbin's sister (and possibly johnny, for his brother) because i can

**__chaotic gay:** not to be a h*tero or anything but changbin why didn't you tell us your sister was fucking hot

 **chaotic good:** first of all, she's my sister, ew

second of all, im fucking gay, dumbass

 **chaotic gay:** fair

but can i get your sister's number

 **chaotic good:** no !!!!!!!!!!

she has a girlfriend !!!!!

 **chaotic neutral:** i didn't even know changbin knew what punctuation was

 **chaotic good:** oh shut it

 **bean boy:** changbin can i get your brother's number

please

its for science

 **chaotic good:** no !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

besides he already has a boyfriend

 **chaotic gay:** spoilsport

why are all her friend's hot too???

hey isn't soyeon jungkook's sister?

 **kinky:** don't get any ideas

she's literally dating changbin's sister

 **chaotic gay:** damn

why are changbin's hot sibling's dating hot people

when changbin isn't hot, nor is he dating someone hot

 **meh:** sad

 **chaotic good:** im trying my best !!!!

 **chaotic gay:** why are all the hot one's gay

 **bean boy:** thats literally what every girl ever says when she finds out you're (mostly?) gay

 **chaotic gay:** fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stan g idle and stream hann!!  
> ps. don't worry, changbin will be dating someone hot soon enough ;)


	11. G(ay)idle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soyeon and Soojin are dating  
> Miyeon and Shuhua are pining  
> Yuqi and Minnie are along for the ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a g idle chapter? its more likely than you think

_**gays and gals** _

**capn':** men don't deserve rights

 **first mate:** agreed

but what brought this on, love?

 **capn':** jungkook brought some of his friend's over and they're so fucking loud

 **first mate:** do you want me to come pick you up? we can go get some coffee

 **capn':** i love you so much

 **fucker:** PDA

there are CHILDREN present !!!!

 **mother:** you're literally the youngest one here

 **fucker:** i was talking abt yuqi

 **mouse:** fair

 **first mate:** babe im here

come down

i can hear the boys from out here

 **capn':** you're a lifesaver

be right down!

 **uwuqi:** do you think pigeon's have feelings

 **fucker:** i

yuqi are you ok?

 **uwuqi:** yeah

i mean finals just about ended my life but otherwise im feeling !!!!!!

 **mother:** thats...

good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soyeon and Jungkook are siblings  
> Soojin and Changbin and Johnny are siblings  
> Minnie and BamBam are cousins
> 
> Soyeon - capn'  
> Miyeon - mother  
> Minnie - mouse  
> Soojin - first mate  
> Yuqi - uwuqi  
> Shuhua - fucker
> 
> should i have some of the skz(/bts)and g idle members date? or should i just keep the ships in the same group?


	12. We're All in this Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's everyone's names:  
> chan - sidedish  
> woojin - woo  
> minho - gaylord  
> changbin - trashbin  
> hyunjin - bean boy  
> jisung - jirapped  
> felix - freck(les)  
> seungmim-min jr  
> jeongin - baby  
> Soyeon - homo  
> Miyeon - pine/mother  
> Minnie - mouse  
> Soojin - lesbean  
> Yuqi - uwuqi  
> Shuhua - shoewho  
> jaebum - bum/daddy  
> mark - california girl  
> jackson - wangster  
> jinyoung - tired  
> namjoon - socratease  
> seokjin - broad  
> yoongi - yikes!  
> hoseok - god  
> jimin - smize  
> taehyung - roblox  
> jungkook - minecraft  
> ten - eleven  
> johnny - white man

**Seo Changbin _has created a new chat_**

**Seo Changbin _has added_ Seo Soojin _and_ Seo Johnny **

**Seo Johnny:** we already have a sibling gc why do we need another one

 **Seo Changbin:** i was making a chat so our friend's could talk but then I remembered you have too many friends

 **Seo Soojin:** ^and most of them are annoying

 **Seo Johnny:**.

is it alright if I just add my boyfriend?

 **Seo Changbin:** I accept your offer

 **Seo Changbin _has added_ sidedish, woo** **_, and 6 others_ **

**Seo Soojin _has added_ homo, mother, _and 3 others_**

**Seo Johnny _has added_ eleven, _and 14 others_**

**Seo Soojin:** I thought you said you wouldn't add all your friends

 **Seo Johnny:** first of all, these aren't yhe friends you're thinkinh of

second of all, one of the people i added is your girlfriend's brother, behave

 **Seo Soojin:** I've met him, he already knows he should be Afraid of me

 **yikes:** what is this

 **socratease:** babe im pretty sure its a group chat

 **yikes:** fuck off joon

 **shoewho:** WATCH YOUR MOUTH

 **baby:** there are CHILDREN present

 **homo:** you two are literal children who are you talking about

 **baby:** hyunjin

felix

jisung

 **shoewho:** yuqi

 **mother:** fair

 **daddy:** don't forget about bambam!

 **shoewho:** i think there's going to be a problem here

**shoewho _has changed_ mother' _s name to_ pine**

**tired _has changed_ daddy's _name to_ bum**

**min jr _has changed_ Seo Changbin's _name to_ trashbin**

**trashbin:** well fuck you too i guess

**homo _has changed_ Seo Soojin's _name to_ lesbean**

**eleven _has changed_ Seo Johnny's _name to_ white man**

**white man:** thanks babe

 **eleven:** anytime 

**gaylord:** thats gay

 **wangster:** your name is literally gaylord

 **gaylord:** your point?

 **wangster:** fair

 **roblox:** do you guys think rocks have feelings?

 **smize:** no

 **tired:** no

 **mouse:** no

 **eleven:** no

 **uwuqi:** thats what i was just thinking about !!!!!

 **roblox:**!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i just expose all the ships now? or just add them when they actually get together

**Author's Note:**

> hhhh i swear if this turns out angsty im going to delete myself


End file.
